The "Style Weekly" Write-up of Victoria Cobb, the Face of the Family Foundation

I emailed the following to Victoria Cobb and her key staff members at the Family Foundation in regards to the 9/28/2010 "Style Weekly" write-up of her. And I did, of course, sign my name to it:

Victoria,

I was dismayed by Style Weekly's write-up of you, since you can't differentiate between the need to "protect family values" and people who simply make choices that are not centered on marriage and children. Although you can't conceive of it, someone else's choice NOT to live a Christian or family-centric life does not mean that your lifestyle is under siege. Sadly and ironically, however, that person's choices are under siege----by none other than you. The first line on your Web site is: "Building on 20 years of protecting traditional values," because you don't understand that other people's choice to live differently than you do does not constitute an attack on YOUR traditional values. But you...you would limit their choices in what is ultimately an act of the pot calling the kettle black. They are not aiming to erode your values and lifestyle; you are aiming to do that to theirs, and you make a hypocrite of yourself in not seeing it.

Try considering that no one is out there wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with, "Just Say No to Family Values!" No one is doing that, Victoria. It is simply that many people are born to circumstances that tend not to coincide with strong families. You don't know anything about being born poor and black, for example, and you don't have the wherewithal to investigate how such plays a role in the choices people make. You have lived a homogenous life; you don't really know why everyone doesn't have a strong family; you simply wrongly suspect that something like homosexuality is a primary antagonist. (People do not choose to be gay; it's not a coincidence that gay men have something of the effeminate about them. Sexuality is a by-product of hormones and biochemistry....)

No one is out there railing against family values. It's simply that not everyone can live as you do, and not everyone wants to. That's it. It's as simple as that. Your "Building on 20 years of protecting traditional values" smacks of paranoia and a persecution complex. Try to grasp that my having my way doesn't have to preclude you having yours. On the other hand, you having your way DOES aim to preclude me having my way. Think of how many people's lives----people you don't know and never will---you aim to fundamentally modify with your own views. Is that fair and just when you think about it? It so happens that I am NOT gay; I am a single woman who has chosen never to marry or have children, but I also rightly choose not to take away people's right to the "pursuit of happiness" just because I couldn't see myself making the choices they have made for themselves. I own my house free and clear; I volunteer in the urban community where I live; I contribute, and all without having my own family or believing in god.

Please learn that my having mine doesn't mean that you can't have yours, but that, sadly, you would have it that you having yours means I can't have mine. As an example, the accommodation of gay marriage is not a repeal of traditional marriage. It widens, not shrinks, the circle of life and love and the human experience of it---until you come along and limit it for the people who would choose it, all without the slightest awareness of the irony in what you are doing. No one is saying, "Just Say No to Family Values!", Victoria. It's simply that not everyone can, wants to, or should live as you do. Is it really right that you should try to limit them?